Everyone has their own rules in their heads. We interpret and evaluate situations and other people’s behavior with our rules. The events, situations, and, therefore, the available data are the same for everyone. When there is an announcement at work about the team or organizational changes. People interpret the news differently and react to these changes differently. Many misunderstandings and conflicts occur because we see the rules as not our rules but the rules. Calling it a lack of empathy would be a simple and wrong inference. That’s why we first need to understand the available data, and later, we can learn our own rules and the rules of other people. Only then can we interpret in our way while knowing and understanding the data and common ground truly. This approach gives us different opportunities to give feedback and understand the feedback we receive.
- Related Note(s):
- 40c: Learning How to Receive Feedback;
- 27a: Increasing awareness of the actions and behaviors;
- 38: Changing Habits Happen in Three Different Ways;
- 4a: On Being Curious;
- 22: Cross-Cultural Communication;
- 21: Efficient Code Review Process (The changes I wanted to do in one of my teams);
- 23d: Don’t give feedback for the sake of giving feedback;
- 5: Managing Promotions;
- 6: Being a boss who cares personally;
- 19: Decision-Making Strategies;
- 20: Influencing Others;
- 36: Open Feedback Culture;
- Source(s): Thanks for The Feedback by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen
