A blame absorber is a person who takes all responsibility and leaves no responsibility to others. They absorb all responsibilities even if they have nothing to do with it. They don’t count the external factors. We know these people who usually say, “I should/could have done X. It’s all my fault.”
To show them the effect of other elements, walk them through the big picture, and broaden their perspective without blaming them. First, help them see how they contribute and how their behavior and impact are (you can use situation, behavior, impact modal). Take the second step and explain how their and others’ roles and responsibilities clash and create a responsibility conflict and adversaries. Third, show them how the overall system causes or affects these players to act in that way.
While explaining, don’t load all responsibility into yourself or the system. Let the blame absorber understand how all the factors play a role by showing all factors together. Then, help them understand their part and enable them to take full responsibility for that part, not for the others.
- Related Note(s):
- Source(s): Thanks For The Feedback by Douglas Stone & Sheila Heen
- Resourced: I’m Sorry. The Project is Delayed and It’s All My Fault;
