One of the things I miss the most in my software engineering job is being able to close the computer and stop doing the work. The work needs an external tool that you depend on. The manager’s job is different. You rarely need an external tool, and you can’t really turn off your brain, especially when you have a stake in a topic. You keep thinking about it because many problems neither need a computer nor a meeting.
People-related challenging topics, such as difficult feedback conversations, team restructuring and performance improvement plans are sources of stress. When under stress, the thought spirals are endless. The worry about how we will impact someone else’s life and how we will be seen in the social setting keeps the mind busy. Hence, it’s easy to ponder and have different scenarios play in the head long before the actual conversation.
Situations like these require neither a meeting room nor a desk or laptop. You simply continue thinking about it during cooking, walking, watching something, or any other activity you do. This is bad. I believe the root cause is not allocating the time correctly.
Manager’s thinking time during work is almost nonexistent, especially these days. Many managers (including CTOs) are expected to be the master of many trades, including hands-on work, strategy, business, people, psychology, software design, and many more. While trying to do all, there is no time left to think about that difficult feedback conversation.
Without having any space to work out the details of the conversation, the strategy and the arguments, there is no way that any of these will be done during the work time. Eventually, thinking shifts to the time we go out of work because, finally, all other things are out of sight.
I wondered how to stop. Meditation, journalling and mindfulness are things that come to mind. However, building mindfulness takes ages. It requires practice. Maybe the solution is to set solo work time at work and block it on the calendar. Then, use this time to journal, plan, and think about a topic in whatever format that fits. Writing or going for a walk is my default option. These don’t seem like visible work to anyone, but it’s a different type of job that helps all the visible ones.
